


The Merc with a Mouth cleanses Star City's corruption

by Aragorn_II_Elessar



Category: Arrow (TV 2012), Deadpool - All Media Types
Genre: Crack, Gen, Humor, Justin Bieber's music is a cause of death, Pollard is an idiot, Post 7x15, Wade Wilson is awesome, hilarious death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-12
Updated: 2019-03-12
Packaged: 2019-11-16 03:41:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,189
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18086759
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aragorn_II_Elessar/pseuds/Aragorn_II_Elessar
Summary: The Merc with a Mouth decides Mayor Pollard has crossed the line now. Crack fic. Sequel to Bl4ckHunter's "The Merc with the Mouth and the Shortsighted Mayor."





	The Merc with a Mouth cleanses Star City's corruption

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Bl4ckHunter](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bl4ckHunter/gifts).



> Disclaimer: I do not own Deadpool, Arrow or anything else you may recognize
> 
> Thank you to Bl4ckHunter for letting me write this as a sequel to his story- "The Merc with the Mouth and the Shortsighted Mayor."

After the incident with James Midas, Pollard was frustrated at Oliver, Dinah and pretty much every single vigilante that came to her mind. They had forced her hand. She was fuming inwardly, planning her revenge. All of them would be throw into prison, never to see the light of day again.

And then her secretary entered, a shocked look on his face, "Mayor Pollard, I'm so sorry, he's back…."

A man in a red and black suit with katanas on his back grabbed him and shoved him away, "Well, MIss Mayor, we meet again."

"You." She growled as she rose from her seat so fast it fell down, "You are in cahoots with Oliver and his team, aren't you? I'm going to throw you all into Slabside forever."

"Ooooh, I'm so scared." Wade mocked as she fumed, "First of all, we don't know each other. Seriously lady, we exist in different fandoms. I only move around to call idiots like you out."

Pollard was confused by "fandoms" and wondered what Wade meant.

"Remember what we talked about last time we met?" Wade reminded and she glared.

"I do." She said, "Vigilantes only make things worse for everyone. Like the incident with Midas-"

"About that." Wade cut her off, "Your way sucked so hard. Everyone got away."

Pollard sneered, "At least I wasn't dipping anyone's head into acid."

"That got pretty good results compared to your ineffective policies." Wade mocked, "And seriously, at least get a better computer for the SCPD. Even a master hacker like Felicity can't work without proper equipment. Or did you lose even the leftover money during your administration?"

Pollard was clenching her fists now as Wade continued, "And it's obvious you're in cohorts with the wrong people, like Midas."

Pollard stepped back in shock as Wade said, "Oliver wasn't the best Mayor in Season 5 but at least he wasn't involved with criminals. So it's obvious, this city deserves better than you. Your services are no longer required."

Pollard sneered, "What're you going to do? You are not part of the council. You can't give them any evidence. I will remain Mayor and put you all behind bars."

"You're out of luck now, Pollard." Wade said with a chuckle and she was confused, "Me and Bl4ckHunter gave you a chance. Only, you chose poorly. And unfortunately for you, it's not Bl4ckHunter writing me this time but Aragorn II Elessar and whenever he writes me, he sends another person with me to carry out the deed."

Pollard was shocked and confused at the same time and wondered who "Bl4ckHunter" and "Aragorn II Elessar" were."

"And this time, he sent the worst person imaginable for the job." Wade said and she paled even though she was confused, "The biggest bad singer who even made an entire army of Nazis kill themselves."

And then, a monotonous tune started playing in the background while Wade chuckled. Pollard looked around in confusion when-

"See I never thought that I could walk through fire."

She turned to see who had come.

"I never thought that I could take the burn."

She dropped her jaw and widened her eyes at who she saw. It was Justin Bieber! He walked into the room, a smug smile on his face along with a mic and a speaker to amplify the sound.

"I never had the strength to take it higher. Until I reached the point of no return."

Pollard was taken aback and involuntarily stepped back. She was sweating heavily at what she was hearing.

"And there's just no turning back. When your heart's under attack."

She covered her ears but to no avail.

"Gonna give everything I have. It's my destiny."

Pollard involuntarily put her hands down, sensing something was about to happen. She was in a state of disbelief.

"I will NEVER SAY NEVER! I WILL FIGHT TILL FOREVER!"

At this point, her mind went into overdrive and she screamed for security, who immediately walked in, guns aimed at Justin, demanding his surrender.

"Whenever you knock me down. I will not stay on the ground."

Hearing the music, the leader of the guards fainted and another one rushed to his aid.

"Pick it up. Pick it up. Pick it up. Pick it up, up, up. And never say never."

Pollard was covering her ears and crying now while some more guards fainted. Seeing the crying Pollard, Justin changed the music.

"Is it too late now to say sorry? 'Cause I'm missing more than just your body."

Pollard's eyes widened in horror as the song made dirty thoughts come to her mind and she cried louder.

"Ooooh, oooooh, sorry!"

One of the guards shot himself and Pollard screamed.

"Ooooh, oooooh, sorry!"

Bang. Another guard dead.

"Ooooh, oooooh, sorry!"

The leader had just woken up and on hearing that, stumbled and hit his head hard, knocking himself out again.

"Ooooh, oooooh, sorry!"

One by one, Pollard's security detail killed themselves as Pollard screamed and crawled back, hoping to find reprieve though there was none. Wade smiled as these guards were also corrupt and in cahoots with the wrong people.

He whispered to Justin, "Give her the dirtiest thoughts."

Pollard looked at Wade with tears in her eyes, hoping to get some mercy. But Justin showed none. His voice softened to a whisper.

"If I was your boyfriend, I'd never let you go. I can take you places you ain't never been before."

Pollard covered her mouth with her hand, horrified by her own thoughts. This man as her boyfriend? Oh no!

"Baby take a chance or you'll never ever know. I got money in my hands that I'd really like to blow. Swag swag swag, on you."

Justin's soft voice made her thoughts even dirtier as she imagined moaning his name. Oh no! What was she thinking? How could someone like herself allow such thoughts to enter her mind?

"Chillin' by the fire while we eating fondue. I don't know 'bout me but I know about you. So say hello to falsetto in three two."

Pollard's mental condition was getting worse every second as she realized listening to this music had turned her from a big, corrupt politician to a dirty, little girl.

"I'd like to be everything you want. Hey girl, let me talk to you."

That was it! She couldn't take it anymore. Screaming madly, she ran to the window and jumped, crashing through it. A moment later, a thud was heard as her body hit the ground and she died.

"Yay!" Bieber smiled, "We did it! Star City's administration will be better now!"

"Yeah." Wade said before calling someone on his phone, "Yeah. You can come. He is here."

And then, Legolas walked in, holding his bow and arrows.

Bieber's eyes widened in horror as he involuntarily stepped back, "Y-You?"

"I didn't have my bow that day you insulted my ex-wife." Legolas said as he notched an arrow, "Now I do."

He shot Justin and he swayed and fell down the window, next to Pollard.

"And that's a wrap." Wade said, "Star City won't go to shit in 20 years now."

**Author's Note:**

> Once again, thank you to Bl4ckHunter for letting me write this sequel to his story. After the latest episode, I needed that.
> 
> Legolas killing Justin Bieber was a reference to when Orlando Bloom punched Bieber in 2014 for passing a lewd comment on Miranda Kerr who is Bloom's ex-wife. Bloom would have given him a nice beating if not for Bieber's bodyguards.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed.
> 
> Please review. I always appreciate your feedback.
> 
> Until next time.
> 
> Aragorn II Elessar.


End file.
